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Posted 2 years ago #
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Hi. I am still afraid to write about what happened. Bobby and I spent two years together. He broke up with me in a two sentence email. He still called after we broke up. I didn't want to do the "let's just be friends" thing. My computer crashed last December. I sent him an email from another computer, telling him I would give him my new email adress when I moved. Five minutes later he called. He wanted to see if he could help me fix my computer so I called him the next morning. He said he couldn't help me over the phone and to take it somewhere to have it fixed. I should have hung up the phone. I didn't. After screaming at me for 2 hours, I went to CVS, bought 1000 extra strength Tylenol. It took me an entire week to plan my suicide. I have OCD. I went to the bank and got a $10,000 certified bank check made out to my High School psychiatrist. I sent him the check, plus two boxes of my journals and books. I ended up in the transplant unit of NYU Medical Center. Bobby called me in the transplant unit to yell at me some more. That's all I can write. I am still afraid. I never want another man to touch me again. I still feel like he owns me. There were so many "rules". I tried so hard to be perfect. He never wanted to read any of my writing.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I'm sorry for what he did to you.
Killing yourself isn't the answer, though (I'm glad you made it, even though you don't know me and I don't know you).
give yourself a few days of recooperation, then take a vacation somewhere. It doesn't have to be expensive, just drive someplace relaxing.
And enjoy yourself.
Once you've done that, think hard about everything you would miss had you not made it out of the hospital.
Make plans to go to Hawaii one day.
Keep those plans.
And don't regret (because the past can't be changed, but you decide what you do with your future).
People love you, and would be hurt if you were gone.
Hang in there. It gets better (I PROMISE).
The best is yet to come.Posted 1 year ago #
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